JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
