We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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