Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
