im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
