Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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