if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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