If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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