But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
