you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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