cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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