i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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