Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need a burrito and a hug.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
