What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
