This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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