He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
