Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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