I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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