Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
