yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
