It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
