Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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