I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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