Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
