are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
