ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
