it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
