the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
