why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
