I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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