I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
