Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
smell my finger.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
