I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
