I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
