I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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