there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
