she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
