I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't put those talents on a resume
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
