it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
