What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
