Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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