is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
