You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
