Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
