Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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