We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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