I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
