i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
