Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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