I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
