I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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