So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
