I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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