Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
