Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize